Artsy Fartsy Copenhagen

Vallensbaek Station

I always tease my friends who have Tumblrs and post mostly photos because they think they are artsy and they claim that that qualifies as a blog, while I'm over here, taking the time to thoughtfully word process amusing posts for you all. Now, obviously, I'm teasing a little here. I think some photo Tumblrs are pretty awesome and well thought out, especially ones that include the owner's own photography. Thumbs up to you out there. However, I've never been one to post artsy, meaningful photography on my blog-because that's not really my style- and instead I usually just find an imagine or use one I have taken to assist in a blog post.

Anyway, today I had my camera out on my commute home from the city and was struck with some hipstery, artsy, inspiration. And, so, decided to illegally get down with some train tracks and creep on an old lady.

(Click images for larger picture)

A Train

Vallensbaek Station

Vallensbaek Station

Vallensbaek Station

Vallensbaek

30 Rock Drinking Game

Ever find yourself curled up on a Sunday night with a glass of red wine watching 30 rock by yourself and thinking, it doesn't get any better than this? Well, if you do, I'd like to offer a slight way to improve this perfect moment.


The 30 Rock Drinking Game!

Drink every time....

Kenneth says something regarding his southern past

Jenna compliments herself

you see Tracy Jordan's stomach

Jonathon says something loving to Jack

Jack says "Lemon"

Liz mentions wine or cheese

Frank has a new hat

Jonathon is rude to Liz

Jack and Liz have a moment

Everyone hates on Lutz

Twofer talks about Harvard

Jack offers Liz life advice

and whenever Liz says: "blerg," "nerds," "what the what?" "Shut it down," "I want to go to there" and "deal breaker"

shout out to another die hard 30 rock fan who embodies much of why liz is awesome and helped me compile this list

Bar Struggles

Although Copenhagen's bars have proven to be a lot of fun, there are some struggles that have presented themselves. I'll do my best to offer some insight and guidance into these matters in order for the rest of you to have an easier time.

The Struggles:

1. Not just having trouble understanding phone numbers through accented voices in loud bars, but names too. People end up in your phone as things like, "girl from bar 2," "tequila guy," "wait YEAH," "too tall?," or even "no idea." There is absolutely no value in that last one being in a phone.
Possible solution: Don't be afraid to ask for a name again. Or, if this seems too risky, ask how to spell the name. Even if it turns out to be a simple name, like... Beth, or something, just blame it on your American-ness and say that you just wanted to check there wasn't a specific Danish spelling. And if you can't get the actual name, do yourself a favor and be more specific than "bar girl," because hopefully there will be more than one and you will want some details when trying to remember. Oh, and, be sure to never let the prospect see their "name" in your phone if it is not the correct one.

2. Denmark is cold. Putting together outfits based on looking good and staying warm for the walk between bars is not an easy feat.
Possible Solution: Easy layering. You don't want to have too much to take off once inside a bar, but a small jacket or sweatshirt may prove very handy. Scarves and cardigans are also always a good idea. Or, if your outfit does not look good with extra layers or a scarf, there is always a beer jacket. Wear with care.

3, When the biggest cock blocker working against you is not a drunk friend, spilling a drink on your prospect, or a miserably failing pick up line, but instead the fact that the prospect lives outside of your transportation pass's zones. Then it's reevaluating time: Is the prospect worth the klippekort?
Possible Solution: Always keep a 2-zone pass with you. Or, when you meet someone you feel you may be interested in getting to know better, let your first train of questions be as follows: Hi, how are you? What's your name (listen closely, to avoid Struggle #1)? Where do you live? Ohh, really? What zone is that in? Easy enough. Then make your decision based on a hottness to travel distance ratio.

Goodnight and good luck!

Cafe Review

Along with babes and berries, another thing in life that I am passionate about is coffee. Love it. Need it. Wouldn't want to live without it. I've had some great coffee around the city, but today I have found my new favorite.

The place: Cafe Vero. Located above a weird little museum on the rooftop with amazing views of the city's tops.
The coffee: Amazing. It smelled delicious. Creamy. Kind of like warm caramel. Delicious. Comes with a little chocolate covered almond.
Will definitely be going back when the weather is nicer to sit outside on the little rooftop patio.

New project

Currently on a quest to find the WORST and by worst... I might mean BEST Danish pop music possible. Don't worry, updates to come...

Berries!

To fulfill another promise of mine to all of my wonderful readers, I would like to keep you all up to speed on the words for different berries in Danish and some hopefully easy tips on how to pronounce them...

berries---------bær (Pronounced kind of like "bear" but more "bay-uhr")

blueberries----blåbær (Pronounced "bloe-bear")

raspberries----hindbær (Pronounced "heen-bear")

black currant--solbær (Pronounced "soul-bear")

strawberries---jordbær (Pronounced like "your bear")


and, random fun fact and a shout out to the Berry Farm and the vegetables... the word "squash" in Danish means zucchini but also just all vegetables that look like that.

As promised: Paintball vs. Laser Tag

Paintball versus laser tag. Where to begin...

Pros of paintball:
Awesome camo onesie
Running around in the Mud
Actual guns that shoot things
Hiding behind forts, bombs, and stumps
You get to wear a sweet looking mask

Cons of paintball:
Sometimes it hurts when you get shot
mud and paint all over you
No pump up music playing
Masks are uncomfortable
Running out of paintballs

Pros of laser tag:
Awesome background music
Awesome lights everywhere
Sweet sound the guns make
Fast action
The vests are awesome

Cons of laser tag:
Indoors, maybe not very big
Having to reload
Having to run the entire time- exhausting!
No camo onesie...


I think from my lists it becomes clear that I am more of a laser tag person. You win again, Barney Stinson. Although, I will admit- the time I laser tagged, I got shot a lotttt and didn't actually get that many shots on the other players. However, during paintball, I only got shot once and actually got a LOT of shots on the opposing team.

Introduction to the Danish Language

No, I will not try to teach all of you at home in the states a ton of Danish so that when I get home we can all converse. Do not worry. Instead, I'm just going to tell you two interesting pieces that I have learned about the language, and therefore, the Danish culture.

First off, the words for "married" and "poison" are the same. What is the Danish word? "Gift."

Secondly, and this is one that might come in handy, is a slang term for a hot girl. Apparently, calling a girl a "fed sild" is a compliment. English translation: Fat herring. I'm not sure I would have ever the balls to approach a girl in a bar and call her an overweight fish, but hey, the Danes are the decedents of Vikings and far more brave then I.

So, what have we learned about Danish culture? I'm honestly not sure. Is it a gift to be married? Is it a gift to be given poison during a marriage in case it is not going well? Is marriage a poison of love, or, one that is detrimental to ones' health? Are they one in the same? These are questions I just cannot answer.

But I do think I'd rather be called a "hot chick" than a "fat herring"

So, you want to live in a castle?

Well, now you can! With this easy guide to seducing Danish royalty and current castle owners into falling in love and inviting you to share their home with them.

1. Become an excellent safari hunter or at the very least- show interest in hunting. You should be able to "ooo" and "ahh" at their hunting "trophies" or be able to bring home a boar, bear, or moose of your own!
2. Know how to open a barrel of mead to prepare for a dinner party or after a long day of the previously mentioned safari hunting. Nothing will impress your new royal hubby more than a goblet of mead already poured upon their arrival home.
   
3. Be passionate about chandeliers. Expect to see one in almost every room of your new castle home. Bonus points if you can bring one as a gift from Venice.
4. Know how to use a cannon in case of emergency. Small cannons will probably be lining the perimeter of your castle and your skills would surely amaze and further seduce any castle owner into wanting you to be a part of their castle life.
   
5. Look good in painted portraits or even better- have a massive portrait painted of you ready to be hung on a wall. And don't worry, if you're having a bad hair day, its alright! Painters always made people look better in their portraits.

That's all easy enough, right? Good luck on all of your royally seductive adventures!

Coming Soon

A review of paintball in comparison to laser tag. I would do it now, but I'm exhausted from traveling and need time to process on the day's events of fast moving paint and scrambling through the mud.

But, I am back from the weekend and will be back to blogging tomorrow!

Song of my life right now...

I'll never know what I'm capable of

If I don't go where I'm scared to be lost

None of you like Bluetooth, huh?

Well, now you are going to have to sit through a Bluetooth lesson.

The name 'Bluetooth' originated from the name for the 10th century king, Harald I of Denmark and some of Norway, who united a kingdom of Danish tribes (and apparently had some dental issues...). So, the Bluetooth idea is that the product is similar regarding communications and uniting them into a universal standard. Pretty neat, huh?

Maybe you all aren't all that interested, but I think that's a cool, sort of hidden, marketing reference.

Back to babes, Danish style?

It's been a while since I have addressed the "babes" aspect of my blog. Well, there in fact are women in Denmark, and the other night I had my first experience in a European lesbian bar, so here we go!

For the Smith College students reading this, no, this bar was nothing like Divas (the one club in Northampton which also has drag night on Wednesdays and is very popular with some of the Smith population) Vela, the one mainly lesbian bar in Copenhagen, had some key differences from Divas...

• There were no flat brimmed caps
• No drag queens performing to Britney spears and having dollar bills thrown at them
• No bouncers peering constantly at the hands of those underaged having their black X's wiped off
• No awkward UMass hetero couples standing on boxes and grinding in long lines
• And getting a number is much harder when names and numbers are said with a Danish accent

However, as I have previously argued, there are certain universal signals between women who dig women, which is true even all the way over here in Scandanavia:

• The lesbian look. As I always try to point out to non-believers, there is a distinct look that lesbians give each other when passing in public. Kind of like a- yeah I see you, I know we play for the same team- kind of look. Although, since it was a lesbian bar, this look was of course turned into the more direct kind of look showing interest and curiosity as opposed to solely an acknowledgement.
• It pays to have short hair. I suppose its a universal lesbian green light? Having short hair and looking confident seem to be productive characteristics, not only at Smith, but also here in Copenhagen.

Well, the first experience at Vela was pretty nerve racking and overwhelming, so these were the brief observations I came away with. I will do my best to continue bringing you, my wonderful readers, insight into the world of Danish babes.