Barney Stinson was totally right...

Laser tag is completely awesome.
The intensity. The excitement. The being scared shitless. The running. The hiding. The vests. The shooting. The loyalty.The betrayal. The Star Wars music they decide to play at Pizza Putt. What is not awesome about this?

Best 7.5 minutes of my life.
Maybe.

I can't not be lame about this "sexy berry"

I was trying to think of a creative title and response introduction to this, but there just isn't a way to not sound overly ridiculous.
Only ideas so far:
Not all berries just get hot from the son.... this Berry is hot all the time.
some dirty jokes about berries tasting good? way too much?
And that's all I've got. Basically, I feel the need to pay tribute to her on this blog. She is a babe and a berry. Ha. I win. And besides, there is no one who did not think she was beyond sexy in this Bond film.
So, you're welcome.

Some Fun Facts about Blueberries

• Native Americans called blueberries "star berries" because of the five points of the blossoms making a star shape
• Mocking their British roots, the first early American colonists renamed blueberries "buckle," "grunt," and "slump" as they added them to their traditional fruit and dough puddings.
• During the Civil War, blueberries were collected and packaged to be sent to Union troops for use as a food staple.
• Robert Frost loved blueberries so much he wrote a poem about them. It was creatively entitled, "Blueberries."
• New Jersey claims the berry as its official state fruit.
• Blueberries are the official berries of Nova Scotia, Canada.
  
• Blueberries contain more antioxidants than most other fruits of vegetables.
• Blueberries are one of the only traditional foods that are truly blue in color.

More "True Life" Edisodes!

Episode 27: Diversity Day
Many great television shows have a "diversity day" themed episode. May I turn everyone's memories to South Park's episode which brought along the fantastically offensive and hilarious singing J Lo brought to life on Cartman's hand?

"Fulfill all your wishes
with my taco-flavored kisses! Taco taco. Burrito"

Who could forget that musical gem? Anyway, on the Diversity Day episode of True Life: I work on a Vermont Berry Farm, a lesson in diversity is given as the whole crew picks blueberries. R tries to defend his use of the word "mexicans" to his gram, aka the boss, as she calls him out. His correction? "people who eat tacos" ... maybe he should write for South Park?

Episode 29: M and G Caught in the Act...
OF SINGING! A hot afternoon brings about the very common song and dance between M and G. After completing a duet together taking the two raspberry pickers through a fake(?) romantic quarrel, M breaks out in solo song. The theme of this song? Looking forward to a certain bodily function. Mid song, however, a regular customer walks up without the girls noticing until he is literally three feet away. Apparently, they had an audience.

The Perfect Theme Song

Okay, this actually has absolutely nothing to do with Babes or Berries but I want to post about it anyway, and because this is my blog, I can.

Television theme songs are hugely important in the way a show comes across and for the viewing pleasure of the audience. The song cannot be too long, too disconnected, or too short. If the intro is lengthy and filled with too many images it gets boring, especially now that watching television shows prerecorded or on DVD has become more popular. Someone may have to watch the intro repeatedly if watching more than one episode in one sitting. On the flip side, the intro should not be too short or meaningless. It should be catchy! Fun! Drawing the viewer into the feeling of the show.

Two television shows come to mind which succeed in the perfectly timed and catchy intro, ending just as you think it is going to get too long and leaving on a satisfying note: How I Met Your Mother and 30 Rock.

While I stand by these two as the best TV show intro songs, I will say that there is a counter argument to be recognized. Because these songs are short and direct, when watching the show on DVD it is dangerous to leave the menu on too long for risk of one's sanity. The short song playing over and over again can grow tiresome much faster than a more lengthy tune. Still, in the actual moment of watching the show, the short, catchy, direct and fun introductions take the win.


I'm really hoping no one who read this saw the title first and expected me to state my life theme song or something lame like that. Because I totally wasn't trying to see if I could come up with one throughout writing this entire post or anything.

Taking the higher road...

So, there's been a bit of drama at the berry farm recently. However, instead of using this space as a negative resource, I am instead going to post these beautiful pictures of blueberries in the morning. The dew was especially stunning this day.

Yes, I just laughed at myself too.

Playlist to Bump to

Ha. This playlist was created by me and a sexy lady for a friend to inspire her for certain recreational activities. The transitions are flawless, I know. Enjoy.


1. Maps- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2. Bed- J. Holiday
3. Push- Enrique ft Lil Wayne
4. Lollipop (remix)- Lil Wayne
5. Speak French- Jamie Foxx ft Gucci Mane
6. Buttons- Pussycat Dolls
7. Do It- Nelly Furtado
8. Sexual Eruption- Snoop Dogg
9. Rockin' That Thang- The Dream
10. Sex on Fire- Kings of Leon
11. Heartbeats- The Knife
12. Rude Boy- Rihanna
13. Return the Favor- Keri Hilson ft Timbaland
14. Heads Will Roll (A-trak Remix)- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
15.Dirty Talk- Wynter Gordon & David Guetta
16. Te Amo- Rihanna
17. Scream My Name- LMFAO
18. I Love My Sex- Benny Benassi

I highly recommend the Enrique video for pure entertainment, and Te Amo because, well, it's fucking hot. As for the actual songs, my favorites are Rockin' That Thang, Te Amo, Scream my Name, and I Love My Sex.

True Life: I Work on a Vermont Berry Farm

MTV totally missed out on this should-have-been-award-winning ongoing True Life Series. Overlooked to most is the drama, the beauty, the humor, the passion, the pain, and the entertainment that goes on in the life of a Vermont berry farm employee.

Because this series is not yet in the making, I will let you all look over some choice episodes, fresh from the screening room, before they hit television:

Episode 4: M & G Use their Delirium for Musical Brilliance!
When hysteria sets in from too much weeding in the sun, M and G spend an hour creating music in the field. Their number 1 single to hit the top 40 charts sometime this summer: Ho-Zone Laya.

Episode 11: Buckley the Bull Pays a Visit
You know you live in Vermont when a little bull comes roaming up through your strawberry field and tries to pay a visit into the stand.

Episode 20: B Shows up Drunk
Drama strikes at the berry farm while the boss is away and a worker shows up intoxicated. What are K and G to do?

Episode 24: It's Fucking Hot
Grumpiness sets in when a day of high 80 degree weather hits as a raspberry field is at its peak ripeness. Can the girls battle the sun and their worsening attitudes and pick the field in time before they melt??

More episodes to come.

Fresch Raspberry Margz

Okay so, I didn't actually follow the recipe I posted a few days ago yet. BUT! Delicious raspberry margaritas were made and I thought they were pretty incredible. Just some Cuervo, Margaritaville mix, and of course- fresh raspberries from the farm. Perfection.

Berry Farms are Hot

not only can berry picking be an excruciatingly hot activity when we are going through a heat wave, but apparently makes the other inhabitants of the farm hot in other ways...

Why Raspberry Picking is Hard

Ow.
on the bright side, I'm very impressed with my blackberry's photo quality at times.

This Weekend's Recipe

Once again, not a cooking blog, but I will be trying at least one of these out this weekend.

From foodnetwork.com, a Raspberry Lemon Margarita:
2 cups ice cubes
1 cup frozen raspberries
1/4 cup club soda
2 tablespoons frozen lemonade mix
2 tablespoons lemon juice
3 ounces tequila
salt, for garnish

Directions

Place ice in blender and pulse several times, to begin breaking it up. Add raspberries, club soda, lemonade mix, 1 tablespoon lemon juice, and tequila and blend until thick and smooth, about 30 seconds.

Pour 1 tablespoon or so of lemon juice into a small saucer. In another saucer, pour a thin layer of salt (table salt, or kosher is even better). Dip the rims of the glassed in the lemon juice, then the salt. Pour frozen mix into salted glass and serve.

Sounds good, right? I'll let you know how it goes.

Thought this was funny. We're talking about getting girls, not publishing books, but I think the message is still clear.

Most Important Lesson!

Hands down, the most important lesson anyone needs to know about getting girls, boys, or whatever is to have CONFIDENCE. Key word for today's post. C O N F I D E N C E. If you don't think you're worth it, why should anyone else? Get a grip on why you are awesome, because I'm sure you are if you are reading this blog, and work with it.

Listen, even if you don't have it, if you act like you're the shit than the girl you are trying to impress will at least take a second to question "hey, maybe they are the shit." So after that, just try not to prove them too too wrong.

For those who have short hair like me, I truly do recommend the "I'm a Cocky-Somewhat-Butch-Totally-Gay-Awesome-Hottie" persona. It works wonders even when you do not mean it to. From what I've noticed, girls love to be loved, especially for their femininity (we're talking about more femme girls here). The "I'm REALLY gay" thing works out well in this situation. If a girl can tell that you truly appreciate her femininity than she will most likely appreciate you as a suitor. The cockiness also comes with the presumption that you are awesome. In bed, in life, whatever. So keep it up or you'll lose, if you get what I'm saying.
Also, I won't feel like I'm being completely open regarding this situation if I do not mention that the short hair absolutely has something to do with it. And let me guess, you probably also wear baggy jeans/board shorts and a lot of men's tops. Well, I think it's safe to say that feminine and previously heterosexually assuming girls find this sort look and their attraction to it ... sexually comforting. Now hold on, I am absolutely NOT demeaning anyone's sexuality. This is simply an observation and cultural suggestion. Because, even if the original attraction derives from previously encoded societal norms for sexuality, the true attraction would only prove to last if the girl really does like girls. Plus, as the short-haired-men's-clothing-wearing-lesbian, I mostly find myself attracted to socially constructed feminine looking girls. However, I don't know if I would be as attractive to them if I had long hair. All I'm saying.
Bonus Round: if you do have walls up (from a previous heart break for example) that lead to a tough or closed off exterior or you act like you do, it is possible to earn sympathy and intimacy points if a girl feels like she can "break down" these walls. Or, even better, if she genuinly does in which case you should probably try to hold onto that one.

For the socially constructed feminine looking girls which I love so much, keep doing your thing. Ha, but, the confidence thing totally goes for you too. It's totally hot when a girl makes eyes or makes a move and this cannot be done if they do not have the courage to do it in the first place. It also goes against those social norms for the less-feminine one to make a move first. It's sexy when a girl acknowledges your attraction to her and then furthers it.

So go, be confident, get mad bitches.

An Accidental but Awesome Affiliation?

Please take the time right now to open up a new tab and insert "babes and berries" into your search bar. Pretend that you heard about my awesome blog from a friend and want to check it out for yourself but you aren't sure of the actual url. This would be the correct step to take, yes. So, please do this. Don't worry, I'll wait...


Okay. I'm assuming that for most if not all of you the first option on the google search was www.berrybabes.com- Hot and Naked Babes! Now I have linked to a porn website in my blog, fantastic. I would just like to state that my blog is in no way affiliated with this website. Ha. I'm pretty sure the second website down is also a porn website...and lower down the page we just find things about Halle Berry being hot. Great.

Well, I suppose this connection actually just supports what exactly I'm trying to do with this blog (sort of), and that is the connection to babes...and berries. In my own life at least. Not in the greater porn world as I do not know much about that. So after examining the previously mentioned website, as I'm sure most of you did as well, it is quite obvious that there really is no connection between actual berries and the babes of their website. Perhaps a tad disappointing, but mostly let's all just be thankful. Some of us have to work with berries every day, you know.