Hungover Haiku

Did I hit my head?
or drink too much beer instead?
best go back to bed


Simply melted cheese
will cure all of life's problems
the morning after

Californication

Hank: How the fuck did we get here?
Karen: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's your fault.
Hank: Oh, undoubtedly. I'm currently accepting blame for everything...it's all my fault.
Karen: You tricked me you know. You tricked me. I would hear the doorbell ring and I would go running towards it, and I'd be thinking, I don't even like this guy, this is just some stupid fling. And then I'd open the door and all those thoughts would just disappear because I'd see your smile and I was a goner. I trusted that smile.
Hank: He was a good guy, that smile. I don't see him much around anymore, I miss him.
Karen: So strange, things change so fast. Once you were my future, then you were my misery, and now you're almost my past.
Hank: Almost.

True Story

sunny morning reflections

You know those mornings where you wake up and something big happened the night before, maybe even more than one big thing, and you have a few lovely seconds when you first wake of not remembering. You can breathe easily, the morning seems calm, maybe you even smile to yourself because you are cozy underneath blankets and the sun is coming in from outdoors. Sunny mornings are one of the most hopeful parts of life, I believe. Even if one does not take part in the outdoors and its weather, knowing the option of going outside and being warmed by sun makes life seem much less like a prison. Not to say that every other morning feels like a cell, not at all. Mornings, are in fact, like a key handed to a prisoner and the words telling him to get out and use their freedom wisely and beautifully. But there are mornings, like the ones where you wake up from a night of changes, where sunshine does seem, instead, like some sort of ironic promising that whatever happened will work itself out. If one must realize that the changes have their own sort of promise, which is easily one of the hardest parts of life, it must also be realized that if the sun can wake up the world another day, then there is still hope, and there is still beauty to be had. These thoughts are hard to come by, however, when one has woken up from a mess. The moment where you remember exactly what you are waking up from, and what you chose to fall asleep to try to ignore for a few hours, is still a part of your life. The warmth of your blankets slips away quickly, your chest tightens and your breath speeds, and worst all, the sunshine seems daunting and farther away than just outside of your window. And so you lie there. Closing your eyes and running through the events of the past night, the conversations, the way you felt, but already it all seems a little distant. Could have easily just been a dream, you try to find amusement in laughing to yourself. If the morning was rainy, you would feel as though the weather was on your side and it would be much simpler to find comfort in your feelings and to stay safe in them because feeling down, where you cannot fall from any further, is one of the safest places to be in life. The rain or clouds outside would feel like a blanket, tucking you in and justifying your desire to stay in bed and hide from the world just a little while longer. This is the problem with the sun. The sun says the opposite, that in those moments when you first wake up, and you would prefer to be back asleep, warm in dark ignorance for just a while longer, that these are are not truly options at all. And that is the irony of promise of the sun on a morning of remembering and questioning. That the sun will continue go come out and light up a world full of changes and decisions, but most important, people continuing their lives after nights of happenings. Because that is, indeed, the only option for a sunny morning.

A BS (Britney Spears) Love Poem

I know many of you have probably heard select song's off of Britney Spear's newest album: Femme Fatale. Like them or not, they are of course an important aspect of popular culture to analyze. There are a few decent tracks, I will admit to liking, and the others are truly just amusing that they do in fact exist at all. However, as a die hard Britney fan myself, I know that all she truly wants is to express the feelings of love through music. She has always filled our ears, and our hearts, with lyrics that we can resonate with and have stayed with us forever:

Hit me baby, one more time...

If there's nothing, missing in my life
then why do these tears come at night?

Countin' 1, 2, 3, Peter, Paul, and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P, every body loves counting...

There just simply is no denying the power of her lyrics.

The songs off of her new album are filled with words describing lust, forbidden affairs, desperate passion, and of course, are written with skilled lyrical brilliance. But, of course with any pop icon, comes criticism of their work....

In order to defend Britney's cultural significance and her undeniable talent as a musician, I have compiled a love poem using lyrics from each of the songs from her new album and mashing them together into a piece of literary genius, if I do say so myself:

The train is boarding, you might miss it
And I should go, but I can't overcome
You set me on fire
be my prisoner of love
Your touch, burning me
If i said
for tonight, it's just the two of us
shame on me

You just cannot deny
all the reasons inside
Your breath like ghosts that disappear
Keep a secret, me and you
you're only a danger to me
break these chains that keep us apart

Body is on fire
I feel it burning and I know
I'm standing far too close
burns like ice

You told me I should stay away
broke the mold
take me higher
Steam me like a pot
full of vegetables


I do believe I have proven my point.

Drinking and Traveling

Let's talk about one of the best things about going abroad. Studying abroad and being in a European city generally means that you can drink outdoors and drink legally if you are not 21 and cannot in the states. Good stuff. However, it is important to take care in your drinking travels. One oopsie and you can find yourself homeless, lost, or stuck at a train station for an unpleasant amount of time.

Here are some helpful hints to stay safe, happy, and drunk in your European travels!

• Know the time of your train. In Copenhagen, Sunday through Thursday the S Tog does not run after around 12:30 at night, so be careful not to miss the last one or you will have to figure out the night bus. On Friday and Saturday nights the S Tog does run throughout the night, but only once on the hour. Know the time each hour your train will leave and plan accordingly so that you do not have to sit there for an annoying amount of time and waste and hour of sleep!
• Know how to get home. When traveling to other cities, make sure you know what transportation line to take BEFORE you start getting wasted. Maybe draw yourself a handy little map. Street names are always helpful.
  
• Keep your keys safe. Need I say more? Put them around your neck, duct tape them to your face, put them in your wallet, whatever. Just don't lose your keys if you are traveling in a new city. Especially.... if you are staying in a somewhat sketchy apartment building situation and the landlord does not have an extra key so you will have to spend way too much money hiring someone to break the lock to the apartment in the morning and then will have to wait another four hours for cleaning ladies to clean up another apartment that you can move into. Does it seem like I am speaking from experience?
  
• Buddy system. Don't go out or try to get home in a new city alone. Being lost with buds may lead to some yelling and frustration, but being lost on your own would be worse.
  
• Stay awake on public transportation. We've all been there. Sitting on the train home and all of a sudden you wake up three stops past your own or at the end of the line. Whoops. I recommend playing the stupid games on your shitty Piccell phone or finding someone to chat with. Maybe not that toothless homeless guy though.
• Have a mental image of yourself sleeping in a gutter, just in case. Is one more drink or dance with that euro hottie or going home with them really worth missing the last train or having no idea how to get home in the morning? Compare the gutter image to yourself drunkenly curled up in your own bed, and you tell me.
  
• As for keeping up the buzz before you have to head home, or for beer for the road, 7/11's are great as are Non Stop shops for cheaper beers.

Danish strawberries

Tonight my Danish family and I had strawberries for dessert! Turns out the Danish way to eat the berries is by putting a bunch in a bowl and then pouring some milk in, like the strawberries are cereal, and then pouring sugar on top. Very, very tasty!

Side note, my host family claims that Denmark has the best strawberries in the world. I know the Danes are full of pride, and perhaps they do have wonderful strawberries somehow in this climate, but I stand by the fact that my berry farm in Vermont has the best strawberries in the world.

NBF for the win.

Just missing the G Spot

Gardiner House party poster 2010

probably the thing I am most proud of making, ever.

Travel tip: fohawk without gel

So, you're traveling and didn't bring any sort of hair products due to travel restrictions, but you absolutely need a fohawk or some other styled hair? Well, I've got your back. All you need is a hotel sized bottle of shampoo! If you're in a hotel, you're all set. If not, bring one along. An airplane approved size bottle of shampoo is much easier to come by than one of hair gel. I know you are thinking, shampoo? Really? As hair gel? Yes.

Step 1: Shower and wash your hair. While the option of not washing your hair and styling it using the fact that it is greasy may be tempting while traveling, showering is always the best option. Clean hair is winning hair.

Step 2: Dry your hair but make sure it is still a little damp, about the amount you would dry it to if you were going to put gel or another product in it.

Step 3: Style your hair roughly to the shape you want it before putting anything in it so that you will not have to move it around much once you have the shampoo on your fingers.

Step 4: Pour out some shampoo on to the tips of your fingers. Make sure to NOT rub your fingers or hands together BECAUSE SHAMPOO BECOMES SOAPY AND FOAMY WHICH IS NOT GOOD IN YOUR HAIR. You will look like you have gray soapy hair, and that isn't a good look on anyone other than shampoo models in a steamy shower.

Step 5: Carefully and slowly run your fingers into your pre-styled hair. Make sure to not attack one area too much or it will become foamy. I recommend sort of patting your hair on the sides and lightly stroking up the fohawk.

Warnings: Using too much shampoo will result in a soapy head. Moving your shampoo'd fingers around your hair too much will result in a soapy head.

If done correctly, the shampoo will in fact hold your hairstyle and will not be too stiff which can be irritating with many gels.

And there you go! Wishing you safe, happy hair travels!

Copenhagen VS London: Lesbian Bars

Both Copenhagen and London, two very cultural cities, only one have prominent Lesbian bar in each of their cities. This puzzles me, especially spending time in Copenhagen where you cannot walk down a street without seeing a gay flag announcing a bar, or dildos in the window of a sex shop, or even finding yourself in the red light district. However, even with the accepting sex and lifestyle scene here, only one bar aimed directly towards lesbians: Vela. The same goes for London, apparently Candy Bar is the only major lesbian bar. I'm not going to do a cultural analysis of why there would only be one major lesbian bar in each of the cities, but instead I am going to review them to give you all an idea of the worldly lesbian bar scene. I'll break the comparisons up into the major aspects of the bars and experiences:


First off, the bars are extremely different in one major aspect: Their sizes.
Coincidentally, the sizes of the bar fit perfectly with the sizes of the city they are in. Vela, in the small city of Copenhagen, is very small itself. One floor, a Foosball table, a few booths and other small tables, and a very small bar. All in all, on a Friday night, it feels very full and crowded. The full feel does not feel very claustrophobic, however, but almost the Danish 'hygge' cozy, intimate feeling.
Candy Bar, on the other hand, represents London's much larger size as a three story bar and dance club. When you walk in, you are greeted by a large room filled with woman and a very large bar that wraps around the first floor. There is plenty of seating along the walls, but most women find themselves upstairs or downstairs from the main floor. The downstairs provides a packed dance floor with a smaller bar but tons of women in the medium sized area dancing with one another around a DJ. The top floor of the bar has a very cozy feeling, quieter music provided by two televisions on the wall with music videos, and a handful of very comfortable couches arranged in areas for groups to sit together. All in all, the bar's size creates much more of a club feeling in comparison to Vela's bar scene and Foosball table.

The music/dancing: If you are looking to dance, Vela is not really the place to go. The music is usually quieter and chill, but sometimes very goofy-backstreet boys or other random American throwbacks. Sometimes when a popular enough song comes on, people do dance along. Perhaps that is why there is only one lesbian specific bar, if lesbians really want to dance- they will go to one of Copenhagen's gay (male) clubs. I'll withhold from stereotypes as to why this would be an obvious idea. Candy Bar, however, providing the downstairs DJ, dance floor, and awesome music is a great place to go to dance with some girls.

The appearance: Vela is themed to the Orient, as all of the reviews and the bar's history will tell you. There is lots of red, wood paneling, and themed art on the walls. The bar is located in the red light district, and used to be a strip club. Candy Bar boasts flashy lights, blue glows, and dark colors to set the mood.

The ladies: I actually have to say, quite similar. At both bars, I have been approached by women. They seem to be outgoing and friendly in both cities and interested in meeting new people. I would imagine, with only one bar, the lesbian scene must be similar to Smith: you kind of know everyone, and if you don't know them, you still probably know their business. I like to think my fresh new face is a positive addition to my overall good looks and charm. I can feel you all rolling your eyes from the states.

SO, the two bars provide very different aspects of lesbian culture and going out. Vela, more personal and laid back, while Candy Bar's loud music and dance scene is less personal- although they do provide quieter areas if you find someone you are actually interested in talking to. Overall, it seems that while the Danish girls are playing Foosball and chatting, the ladies at Candy Bar have their hands full in other ways. I give both bars a big, plaid, lesbian thumbs up!

Berry Good News!

Hello all, I apologize for my lack of posts, being in Denmark does not leave much time for blogging unfortunately! I'll try to be better though.

Anyway, got my job back for the Berry Farm this summer! So, while that means another back breaking summer of hard work, it is good for the theme of this blog!