DqOtD

Douchey quote of the day.

"Most of my cockiness does not actually come from what other people say, but how I know I look"

Berry cute visitor

Yes, I may have screamed when I first noticed this little guy hanging out with us in the strawberry field, but then he turned out to be super chill and let me take lots of nature photos of him. Thanks, frog friend.

Things I Do Instead of Working

The best of days are the one I am instructed to not pick any berries, but simply instruct and direct people when they show up to pick.

And then I make berry snowpeople.

dToTd

Due to my job on the berry farm, most of my body has turned to its nice tanned color...however... the parts that are covered up every day by shorts, sneakers, and a tank top are still extremely pale. Great.

Douchey Thought: Actually, this is more of a goal. Douchey Goal! If my stomach is going to be this pale, it has got to be ripped enough to compensate.

Challenge commence!

The New Vodka

Sorry it's been a little while, everyone. Distracted from the world of blogging. But now, I'm back! No worries.

Today's topic, Gin is the new vodka! Did I hear a few gasps? Disgruntled "hmphs"? Well, I'll explain. I will say, off the bat, that part of my reasoning behind this assertion is due to my father, who I give much credit to who I am today. If any of you have had the pleasure of meeting him and hearing some of his stories of who he is and some of the things he has done- you will understand me much, much better. Anyway! My father is a gin man. Always has been. I have heard his drink order, "gin on the rocks," probably more than any other order at a bar or restaurant in my entire life because of how loyal he is to his preference. I always wondered what it was about gin that he was so hooked on, but after my fall semester at SC drinking only $12 bottles of Poland Spring gin, my mind began to broaden into understanding.

First of all, cheap gin is a hell of a lot easier to drink than cheap vodka. Cheap vodka burns and sucks away at your soul, while cheap gin kind of just tastes like funky water- but a little tastier, if you ask me.

Secondly, expensive gin is a hell of a lot classier than expensive vodka. Yeah, yeah Grey Goose has it the name recognition for expensive, tasty booze, but there are a lot of delicious gins out there. I'd also argue that there are more recognizable expensive gins than vodkas. Mostly because, let's be honest, who really ever wants a vodka on the rocks? Ew. Put it in a delicious mixed drink or suck it down in a shot glass- I don't want to sip it.

Thirdly, I feel like everyone's first year of college all they do is do vodka shots. Svedka or Smirnoff probably? But then you have that night where you do a vodka shot and realize you want to kill yourself. Hm! Need another clear booze option? Time for gin. Now, I do not recommend doing shots of gin. But I do recommend them for tonic and other mixed drinks.

So, keep my martini classic with gin, please. And put a lime in my gin and tonic, and I'm happy.

I just realized this would have been a great post for my upcoming birthday, but now it's written so it's coming early!

DToTD

Okay, I'll admit right now, did not realize that "Douchey Thought of The Day" would look so sweet as an acronym.

Anyway, here's the DToTD:

A little bit of sun, a little bit of worn out, and damn do I look good in a white button up in the summer.

Endorphin Theory

"Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands."

I'm sure we all remember this line from Legally Blonde. No, this post is not a theory as to the solution of a murder mystery. Instead, today at the farm, I came up with a new theory to explain why I, for some reason, a) love my job, and b) seem to be weirdly addicted and loyal to the farm.

Work on the farm is hard. Today was my third day in a row of bending over, weeding strawberry plants, for hours on end in the 80 degree sun. Not an easy thing to do, folks. However! At around 3, my boss comes down and says- Girls, it's too hot to weed, come on up to the stand. Ahh, a sigh of relief. And yet... we get up there, and I am instructed to start hauling around 40 pound bags of soil. Hm. So, even though I'm going on our 8 of heated manual labor, I'm enjoying myself and am not envious of my coworker who is watering plants. Yes, I do like manual labor in general, but here is where my new theory comes into play.

Endorphin Theory: Manual labor is exercise, if exercise makes you happy, then manual labor, should, technically, make you happy. Therefore, work on the farm creates endorphins within ones body that lead to subconscious enjoyment of the work, even if soreness, burning, and sweating is involved. And, further, just as exercise can be addicting, so can the work on the farm.

Here we go again

Back to the farm tomorrow. Soon my life will be consumed by strawberries, blueberries, raspberries... and guess what! We're starting blackberries this year, I believe! Oh the thrills of berry farming. And when those certain thrills do not entertain me enough, luckily I have this blog. And girls. Who always seem to keep me my life interesting, to say the least.

Some upcoming posts to look out for:

An argument that "gay face" does, indeed, exist.

More True Life berry farm episodes

"FWAG"... don't know what that is? better check back in a little bit!

Douchey Thought of the Day: Swag/Winking

If you cannot pull off winking at a girl from across a party or a bar, you do not have swag.

Winking is important. I'll do an instructional post later on.

New Segment: Douchey Thought of the Day

Hello readers!

I know my blog is rarely douchey enough for you all-- ha? So, I'm going to up the ante and add a new segment: Douchey Thought of the Day! Here I will put out a certain thought or idea that comes to mind that I probably would not ever write without acknowledging that it is a bit douchey.

So, here is your first Douchey Thought of the Day!

I have thought about it, and I do not believe that I can be sexually attracted to a girl who uses the word "frolic" in regular conversation to describe her actions or something she wishes to do.
I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the word, or anything wrong with someone who would use the word, or even that a girl who uses the word cannot be hot--I just don't think it works its way into the vocabulary of girls that I am fully attracted to.

While writing this, I have come up with my newest challenge for myself: if the word "frolic" is a no go, what is a word that I really enjoy when a girl uses? Stay tuned.

I love Dinner Parties

I really do. I know I blog a lot here about partying and drinking games, but sometimes it is so perfect to just chill with good people, good wine, and good food. Yes, dinner parties have the potential to be incredibly awkward, but I believe there isn't much enough wine can fix. Also, maybe that's part of the excitement of throwing or attending a dinner party. You don't know exactly how it will turn out, kind of a rush? People don't let a few awkward dinners keep them from continuing to attend or host though, awkward dinner parties are just a part of life, as are successful ones. I do think dinner parties are a pretty universal, cross-culturally enjoyed part of life. I've encountered a few while here in Denmark and they have all been wonderful.

Speaking of cross-cultural, the other night I was having dinner a teacher's house for an end of the year class social, and some of the Americans decided it would be good to try to make ranch dressing. We didn't succeed. However! In order to find a recipe, my teacher-who is Danish- brought out a cooking book to help us, saying basically that she swore by this book. Who wrote this helpful and beloved cookbook? JULIA CHILD. I was so excited! Not only a famous American cook helping out the Danes, but a Smithie! I bet you all didn't know that about her (since they never once mention Smith in the recent movie of her life) but yep, Julia Child attended Smith College.


Maybe this summer I will attempt to throw some dinner parties. I'm thinking themed. I'll keep you all posted.

Douchey/Motivational Playlist

Well, it's almost summertime again! Time for sun, fruity drinks outdoors, and as for any season- the pursuit of women! Mungo Jerry put it the best, "when the weather's fine, you got women, you got women on your mind."

So, I've compiled a douchey/motivational playlist of songs to get you ready for summer and nights out...

• Where Them Girls At- David Guetta Ft. Flo Rida & Nicki Minaj
• Tonight- Enrique Iglesias
• Every Girl- Lil Wayne
• Girls- Pitbull Featuring Ke$ha
• Unstoppable Remix- Drake ft Lil Wayne and Santogold
  
• Cookie Jar- Gym Class Heroes
• Hey Baby- Pitbull
• Ridin' Solo- Jason Derulo
• Down on Me- Jeremiah ft 50 cent
• I'm Single (DJ G-Wiz Deaf Remix)- Lil Wayne
• Money to the Brightside- Mochi Beats
• Whatever You Like- T.I.
  
• Bottoms Up- Trey Songz ft Nicki Manaj
  
• Dirty Picture- Taio Cruz ft Ke$ha
• In The Summer Time- Munjo Jerry

Enjoy and good luck!

Hungover Haiku

Did I hit my head?
or drink too much beer instead?
best go back to bed


Simply melted cheese
will cure all of life's problems
the morning after

Californication

Hank: How the fuck did we get here?
Karen: I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's your fault.
Hank: Oh, undoubtedly. I'm currently accepting blame for everything...it's all my fault.
Karen: You tricked me you know. You tricked me. I would hear the doorbell ring and I would go running towards it, and I'd be thinking, I don't even like this guy, this is just some stupid fling. And then I'd open the door and all those thoughts would just disappear because I'd see your smile and I was a goner. I trusted that smile.
Hank: He was a good guy, that smile. I don't see him much around anymore, I miss him.
Karen: So strange, things change so fast. Once you were my future, then you were my misery, and now you're almost my past.
Hank: Almost.

True Story

sunny morning reflections

You know those mornings where you wake up and something big happened the night before, maybe even more than one big thing, and you have a few lovely seconds when you first wake of not remembering. You can breathe easily, the morning seems calm, maybe you even smile to yourself because you are cozy underneath blankets and the sun is coming in from outdoors. Sunny mornings are one of the most hopeful parts of life, I believe. Even if one does not take part in the outdoors and its weather, knowing the option of going outside and being warmed by sun makes life seem much less like a prison. Not to say that every other morning feels like a cell, not at all. Mornings, are in fact, like a key handed to a prisoner and the words telling him to get out and use their freedom wisely and beautifully. But there are mornings, like the ones where you wake up from a night of changes, where sunshine does seem, instead, like some sort of ironic promising that whatever happened will work itself out. If one must realize that the changes have their own sort of promise, which is easily one of the hardest parts of life, it must also be realized that if the sun can wake up the world another day, then there is still hope, and there is still beauty to be had. These thoughts are hard to come by, however, when one has woken up from a mess. The moment where you remember exactly what you are waking up from, and what you chose to fall asleep to try to ignore for a few hours, is still a part of your life. The warmth of your blankets slips away quickly, your chest tightens and your breath speeds, and worst all, the sunshine seems daunting and farther away than just outside of your window. And so you lie there. Closing your eyes and running through the events of the past night, the conversations, the way you felt, but already it all seems a little distant. Could have easily just been a dream, you try to find amusement in laughing to yourself. If the morning was rainy, you would feel as though the weather was on your side and it would be much simpler to find comfort in your feelings and to stay safe in them because feeling down, where you cannot fall from any further, is one of the safest places to be in life. The rain or clouds outside would feel like a blanket, tucking you in and justifying your desire to stay in bed and hide from the world just a little while longer. This is the problem with the sun. The sun says the opposite, that in those moments when you first wake up, and you would prefer to be back asleep, warm in dark ignorance for just a while longer, that these are are not truly options at all. And that is the irony of promise of the sun on a morning of remembering and questioning. That the sun will continue go come out and light up a world full of changes and decisions, but most important, people continuing their lives after nights of happenings. Because that is, indeed, the only option for a sunny morning.

A BS (Britney Spears) Love Poem

I know many of you have probably heard select song's off of Britney Spear's newest album: Femme Fatale. Like them or not, they are of course an important aspect of popular culture to analyze. There are a few decent tracks, I will admit to liking, and the others are truly just amusing that they do in fact exist at all. However, as a die hard Britney fan myself, I know that all she truly wants is to express the feelings of love through music. She has always filled our ears, and our hearts, with lyrics that we can resonate with and have stayed with us forever:

Hit me baby, one more time...

If there's nothing, missing in my life
then why do these tears come at night?

Countin' 1, 2, 3, Peter, Paul, and Mary
Gettin' down with 3P, every body loves counting...

There just simply is no denying the power of her lyrics.

The songs off of her new album are filled with words describing lust, forbidden affairs, desperate passion, and of course, are written with skilled lyrical brilliance. But, of course with any pop icon, comes criticism of their work....

In order to defend Britney's cultural significance and her undeniable talent as a musician, I have compiled a love poem using lyrics from each of the songs from her new album and mashing them together into a piece of literary genius, if I do say so myself:

The train is boarding, you might miss it
And I should go, but I can't overcome
You set me on fire
be my prisoner of love
Your touch, burning me
If i said
for tonight, it's just the two of us
shame on me

You just cannot deny
all the reasons inside
Your breath like ghosts that disappear
Keep a secret, me and you
you're only a danger to me
break these chains that keep us apart

Body is on fire
I feel it burning and I know
I'm standing far too close
burns like ice

You told me I should stay away
broke the mold
take me higher
Steam me like a pot
full of vegetables


I do believe I have proven my point.

Drinking and Traveling

Let's talk about one of the best things about going abroad. Studying abroad and being in a European city generally means that you can drink outdoors and drink legally if you are not 21 and cannot in the states. Good stuff. However, it is important to take care in your drinking travels. One oopsie and you can find yourself homeless, lost, or stuck at a train station for an unpleasant amount of time.

Here are some helpful hints to stay safe, happy, and drunk in your European travels!

• Know the time of your train. In Copenhagen, Sunday through Thursday the S Tog does not run after around 12:30 at night, so be careful not to miss the last one or you will have to figure out the night bus. On Friday and Saturday nights the S Tog does run throughout the night, but only once on the hour. Know the time each hour your train will leave and plan accordingly so that you do not have to sit there for an annoying amount of time and waste and hour of sleep!
• Know how to get home. When traveling to other cities, make sure you know what transportation line to take BEFORE you start getting wasted. Maybe draw yourself a handy little map. Street names are always helpful.
  
• Keep your keys safe. Need I say more? Put them around your neck, duct tape them to your face, put them in your wallet, whatever. Just don't lose your keys if you are traveling in a new city. Especially.... if you are staying in a somewhat sketchy apartment building situation and the landlord does not have an extra key so you will have to spend way too much money hiring someone to break the lock to the apartment in the morning and then will have to wait another four hours for cleaning ladies to clean up another apartment that you can move into. Does it seem like I am speaking from experience?
  
• Buddy system. Don't go out or try to get home in a new city alone. Being lost with buds may lead to some yelling and frustration, but being lost on your own would be worse.
  
• Stay awake on public transportation. We've all been there. Sitting on the train home and all of a sudden you wake up three stops past your own or at the end of the line. Whoops. I recommend playing the stupid games on your shitty Piccell phone or finding someone to chat with. Maybe not that toothless homeless guy though.
• Have a mental image of yourself sleeping in a gutter, just in case. Is one more drink or dance with that euro hottie or going home with them really worth missing the last train or having no idea how to get home in the morning? Compare the gutter image to yourself drunkenly curled up in your own bed, and you tell me.
  
• As for keeping up the buzz before you have to head home, or for beer for the road, 7/11's are great as are Non Stop shops for cheaper beers.

Danish strawberries

Tonight my Danish family and I had strawberries for dessert! Turns out the Danish way to eat the berries is by putting a bunch in a bowl and then pouring some milk in, like the strawberries are cereal, and then pouring sugar on top. Very, very tasty!

Side note, my host family claims that Denmark has the best strawberries in the world. I know the Danes are full of pride, and perhaps they do have wonderful strawberries somehow in this climate, but I stand by the fact that my berry farm in Vermont has the best strawberries in the world.

NBF for the win.

Just missing the G Spot

Gardiner House party poster 2010

probably the thing I am most proud of making, ever.

Travel tip: fohawk without gel

So, you're traveling and didn't bring any sort of hair products due to travel restrictions, but you absolutely need a fohawk or some other styled hair? Well, I've got your back. All you need is a hotel sized bottle of shampoo! If you're in a hotel, you're all set. If not, bring one along. An airplane approved size bottle of shampoo is much easier to come by than one of hair gel. I know you are thinking, shampoo? Really? As hair gel? Yes.

Step 1: Shower and wash your hair. While the option of not washing your hair and styling it using the fact that it is greasy may be tempting while traveling, showering is always the best option. Clean hair is winning hair.

Step 2: Dry your hair but make sure it is still a little damp, about the amount you would dry it to if you were going to put gel or another product in it.

Step 3: Style your hair roughly to the shape you want it before putting anything in it so that you will not have to move it around much once you have the shampoo on your fingers.

Step 4: Pour out some shampoo on to the tips of your fingers. Make sure to NOT rub your fingers or hands together BECAUSE SHAMPOO BECOMES SOAPY AND FOAMY WHICH IS NOT GOOD IN YOUR HAIR. You will look like you have gray soapy hair, and that isn't a good look on anyone other than shampoo models in a steamy shower.

Step 5: Carefully and slowly run your fingers into your pre-styled hair. Make sure to not attack one area too much or it will become foamy. I recommend sort of patting your hair on the sides and lightly stroking up the fohawk.

Warnings: Using too much shampoo will result in a soapy head. Moving your shampoo'd fingers around your hair too much will result in a soapy head.

If done correctly, the shampoo will in fact hold your hairstyle and will not be too stiff which can be irritating with many gels.

And there you go! Wishing you safe, happy hair travels!

Copenhagen VS London: Lesbian Bars

Both Copenhagen and London, two very cultural cities, only one have prominent Lesbian bar in each of their cities. This puzzles me, especially spending time in Copenhagen where you cannot walk down a street without seeing a gay flag announcing a bar, or dildos in the window of a sex shop, or even finding yourself in the red light district. However, even with the accepting sex and lifestyle scene here, only one bar aimed directly towards lesbians: Vela. The same goes for London, apparently Candy Bar is the only major lesbian bar. I'm not going to do a cultural analysis of why there would only be one major lesbian bar in each of the cities, but instead I am going to review them to give you all an idea of the worldly lesbian bar scene. I'll break the comparisons up into the major aspects of the bars and experiences:


First off, the bars are extremely different in one major aspect: Their sizes.
Coincidentally, the sizes of the bar fit perfectly with the sizes of the city they are in. Vela, in the small city of Copenhagen, is very small itself. One floor, a Foosball table, a few booths and other small tables, and a very small bar. All in all, on a Friday night, it feels very full and crowded. The full feel does not feel very claustrophobic, however, but almost the Danish 'hygge' cozy, intimate feeling.
Candy Bar, on the other hand, represents London's much larger size as a three story bar and dance club. When you walk in, you are greeted by a large room filled with woman and a very large bar that wraps around the first floor. There is plenty of seating along the walls, but most women find themselves upstairs or downstairs from the main floor. The downstairs provides a packed dance floor with a smaller bar but tons of women in the medium sized area dancing with one another around a DJ. The top floor of the bar has a very cozy feeling, quieter music provided by two televisions on the wall with music videos, and a handful of very comfortable couches arranged in areas for groups to sit together. All in all, the bar's size creates much more of a club feeling in comparison to Vela's bar scene and Foosball table.

The music/dancing: If you are looking to dance, Vela is not really the place to go. The music is usually quieter and chill, but sometimes very goofy-backstreet boys or other random American throwbacks. Sometimes when a popular enough song comes on, people do dance along. Perhaps that is why there is only one lesbian specific bar, if lesbians really want to dance- they will go to one of Copenhagen's gay (male) clubs. I'll withhold from stereotypes as to why this would be an obvious idea. Candy Bar, however, providing the downstairs DJ, dance floor, and awesome music is a great place to go to dance with some girls.

The appearance: Vela is themed to the Orient, as all of the reviews and the bar's history will tell you. There is lots of red, wood paneling, and themed art on the walls. The bar is located in the red light district, and used to be a strip club. Candy Bar boasts flashy lights, blue glows, and dark colors to set the mood.

The ladies: I actually have to say, quite similar. At both bars, I have been approached by women. They seem to be outgoing and friendly in both cities and interested in meeting new people. I would imagine, with only one bar, the lesbian scene must be similar to Smith: you kind of know everyone, and if you don't know them, you still probably know their business. I like to think my fresh new face is a positive addition to my overall good looks and charm. I can feel you all rolling your eyes from the states.

SO, the two bars provide very different aspects of lesbian culture and going out. Vela, more personal and laid back, while Candy Bar's loud music and dance scene is less personal- although they do provide quieter areas if you find someone you are actually interested in talking to. Overall, it seems that while the Danish girls are playing Foosball and chatting, the ladies at Candy Bar have their hands full in other ways. I give both bars a big, plaid, lesbian thumbs up!

Berry Good News!

Hello all, I apologize for my lack of posts, being in Denmark does not leave much time for blogging unfortunately! I'll try to be better though.

Anyway, got my job back for the Berry Farm this summer! So, while that means another back breaking summer of hard work, it is good for the theme of this blog!

S tog

Name Game Revisited

So you've met someone in a bar, gotten their number, and have absolutely no idea what their actual name is but you've been texting for over a week. Could you have at some point simply asked them over a playful text message to remind you? Sure, but of course- you haven't. Fair enough. But now you've made plans to get together. It's crunch time.

From recently being in this situation, I with the help of friends, had to come up with some possible solutions to the problem that may as well be shared with the greater audience of people who have weird ass names in their phone for people they may be interested in.

• If you have some vague idea that their name may have been a little different or exotic and that is why you don't remember, then once again, the easiest approach is simply to ask how they spell it.
  

• When you meet up, bring a friend along. When you arrive, the friend can quickly reach out their hand and introduce themselves and your Mystery Name date will have to provide their name audibly. Done and done.

• Side note: The friend doesn't have to stay long, you don't necessarily want to be that person who brings along a buddy for fear of an awkward date. That goes against every lesson of exuding confidence that I have taught you. Instead, you can casually explain that you were walking by with the friend and they wanted to say hi- maybe they also were at the bar when you met? Or, if you are really in a desperate situation- text Mystery Name ahead of time and explain that one of your friends just got dumped and needs some company, you're sorry, you know it's a little weird, but ask if they can join you. Hopefully Mystery Name will see this as charming and sweet that instead of canceling your date, you'd rather still see them and also be a good friend at the same time.
  

• Don't have a friend willing to help you out and would rather have you suffer a little more? Understandable. Going off of being charming, it's alright to be a little goofy sometimes. Letting your confident guard down can really pay off. So, give a little smirk, a little embarrassed head scratch, and laugh to yourself as you admit to them that you are so embarrassed but that you are actually having a really nice time with them and that you should admit that you don't actually remember their name. This one may be a little riskier, so be ready to gauge just how awkward/offended they might be about it. They might just laugh it off with you- I mean, honestly, it's an easy mistake if you have only met once before. If, however, they seem offended, just explain that you were too nervous to ask through a text because you didn't want to scare them off until you could see them again. Give a cute smile. And you're back in the game.

• Last approach: Don't do anything. This is, of course, perhaps the douchiest and riskiest approach to the situation, but at least you won't have to admit that you don't know their name. Realistically, you may not need to actually address them by their name for quite some time. As long as anyone you may have to introduce them too is quick enough to do the introduction themselves, you're all set. If you meet their friends, wait until Mystery Name isn't at the table, and you could ask how long they have known them. Hopefully the friends will respond, oh we've known ____ for a few years now! And you're golden. If you go home with Mystery Name, do a quick search on a desk for letters or notes. Easy enough. I do not, however, really recommend going home with them or really even seeing going much longer without knowing their name, but hey, to each their own. I just provide the advice!
  

Artsy Fartsy Copenhagen

Vallensbaek Station

I always tease my friends who have Tumblrs and post mostly photos because they think they are artsy and they claim that that qualifies as a blog, while I'm over here, taking the time to thoughtfully word process amusing posts for you all. Now, obviously, I'm teasing a little here. I think some photo Tumblrs are pretty awesome and well thought out, especially ones that include the owner's own photography. Thumbs up to you out there. However, I've never been one to post artsy, meaningful photography on my blog-because that's not really my style- and instead I usually just find an imagine or use one I have taken to assist in a blog post.

Anyway, today I had my camera out on my commute home from the city and was struck with some hipstery, artsy, inspiration. And, so, decided to illegally get down with some train tracks and creep on an old lady.

(Click images for larger picture)

A Train

Vallensbaek Station

Vallensbaek Station

Vallensbaek Station

Vallensbaek

30 Rock Drinking Game

Ever find yourself curled up on a Sunday night with a glass of red wine watching 30 rock by yourself and thinking, it doesn't get any better than this? Well, if you do, I'd like to offer a slight way to improve this perfect moment.


The 30 Rock Drinking Game!

Drink every time....

Kenneth says something regarding his southern past

Jenna compliments herself

you see Tracy Jordan's stomach

Jonathon says something loving to Jack

Jack says "Lemon"

Liz mentions wine or cheese

Frank has a new hat

Jonathon is rude to Liz

Jack and Liz have a moment

Everyone hates on Lutz

Twofer talks about Harvard

Jack offers Liz life advice

and whenever Liz says: "blerg," "nerds," "what the what?" "Shut it down," "I want to go to there" and "deal breaker"

shout out to another die hard 30 rock fan who embodies much of why liz is awesome and helped me compile this list

Bar Struggles

Although Copenhagen's bars have proven to be a lot of fun, there are some struggles that have presented themselves. I'll do my best to offer some insight and guidance into these matters in order for the rest of you to have an easier time.

The Struggles:

1. Not just having trouble understanding phone numbers through accented voices in loud bars, but names too. People end up in your phone as things like, "girl from bar 2," "tequila guy," "wait YEAH," "too tall?," or even "no idea." There is absolutely no value in that last one being in a phone.
Possible solution: Don't be afraid to ask for a name again. Or, if this seems too risky, ask how to spell the name. Even if it turns out to be a simple name, like... Beth, or something, just blame it on your American-ness and say that you just wanted to check there wasn't a specific Danish spelling. And if you can't get the actual name, do yourself a favor and be more specific than "bar girl," because hopefully there will be more than one and you will want some details when trying to remember. Oh, and, be sure to never let the prospect see their "name" in your phone if it is not the correct one.

2. Denmark is cold. Putting together outfits based on looking good and staying warm for the walk between bars is not an easy feat.
Possible Solution: Easy layering. You don't want to have too much to take off once inside a bar, but a small jacket or sweatshirt may prove very handy. Scarves and cardigans are also always a good idea. Or, if your outfit does not look good with extra layers or a scarf, there is always a beer jacket. Wear with care.

3, When the biggest cock blocker working against you is not a drunk friend, spilling a drink on your prospect, or a miserably failing pick up line, but instead the fact that the prospect lives outside of your transportation pass's zones. Then it's reevaluating time: Is the prospect worth the klippekort?
Possible Solution: Always keep a 2-zone pass with you. Or, when you meet someone you feel you may be interested in getting to know better, let your first train of questions be as follows: Hi, how are you? What's your name (listen closely, to avoid Struggle #1)? Where do you live? Ohh, really? What zone is that in? Easy enough. Then make your decision based on a hottness to travel distance ratio.

Goodnight and good luck!

Cafe Review

Along with babes and berries, another thing in life that I am passionate about is coffee. Love it. Need it. Wouldn't want to live without it. I've had some great coffee around the city, but today I have found my new favorite.

The place: Cafe Vero. Located above a weird little museum on the rooftop with amazing views of the city's tops.
The coffee: Amazing. It smelled delicious. Creamy. Kind of like warm caramel. Delicious. Comes with a little chocolate covered almond.
Will definitely be going back when the weather is nicer to sit outside on the little rooftop patio.

New project

Currently on a quest to find the WORST and by worst... I might mean BEST Danish pop music possible. Don't worry, updates to come...

Berries!

To fulfill another promise of mine to all of my wonderful readers, I would like to keep you all up to speed on the words for different berries in Danish and some hopefully easy tips on how to pronounce them...

berries---------bær (Pronounced kind of like "bear" but more "bay-uhr")

blueberries----blåbær (Pronounced "bloe-bear")

raspberries----hindbær (Pronounced "heen-bear")

black currant--solbær (Pronounced "soul-bear")

strawberries---jordbær (Pronounced like "your bear")


and, random fun fact and a shout out to the Berry Farm and the vegetables... the word "squash" in Danish means zucchini but also just all vegetables that look like that.

As promised: Paintball vs. Laser Tag

Paintball versus laser tag. Where to begin...

Pros of paintball:
Awesome camo onesie
Running around in the Mud
Actual guns that shoot things
Hiding behind forts, bombs, and stumps
You get to wear a sweet looking mask

Cons of paintball:
Sometimes it hurts when you get shot
mud and paint all over you
No pump up music playing
Masks are uncomfortable
Running out of paintballs

Pros of laser tag:
Awesome background music
Awesome lights everywhere
Sweet sound the guns make
Fast action
The vests are awesome

Cons of laser tag:
Indoors, maybe not very big
Having to reload
Having to run the entire time- exhausting!
No camo onesie...


I think from my lists it becomes clear that I am more of a laser tag person. You win again, Barney Stinson. Although, I will admit- the time I laser tagged, I got shot a lotttt and didn't actually get that many shots on the other players. However, during paintball, I only got shot once and actually got a LOT of shots on the opposing team.

Introduction to the Danish Language

No, I will not try to teach all of you at home in the states a ton of Danish so that when I get home we can all converse. Do not worry. Instead, I'm just going to tell you two interesting pieces that I have learned about the language, and therefore, the Danish culture.

First off, the words for "married" and "poison" are the same. What is the Danish word? "Gift."

Secondly, and this is one that might come in handy, is a slang term for a hot girl. Apparently, calling a girl a "fed sild" is a compliment. English translation: Fat herring. I'm not sure I would have ever the balls to approach a girl in a bar and call her an overweight fish, but hey, the Danes are the decedents of Vikings and far more brave then I.

So, what have we learned about Danish culture? I'm honestly not sure. Is it a gift to be married? Is it a gift to be given poison during a marriage in case it is not going well? Is marriage a poison of love, or, one that is detrimental to ones' health? Are they one in the same? These are questions I just cannot answer.

But I do think I'd rather be called a "hot chick" than a "fat herring"

So, you want to live in a castle?

Well, now you can! With this easy guide to seducing Danish royalty and current castle owners into falling in love and inviting you to share their home with them.

1. Become an excellent safari hunter or at the very least- show interest in hunting. You should be able to "ooo" and "ahh" at their hunting "trophies" or be able to bring home a boar, bear, or moose of your own!
2. Know how to open a barrel of mead to prepare for a dinner party or after a long day of the previously mentioned safari hunting. Nothing will impress your new royal hubby more than a goblet of mead already poured upon their arrival home.
   
3. Be passionate about chandeliers. Expect to see one in almost every room of your new castle home. Bonus points if you can bring one as a gift from Venice.
4. Know how to use a cannon in case of emergency. Small cannons will probably be lining the perimeter of your castle and your skills would surely amaze and further seduce any castle owner into wanting you to be a part of their castle life.
   
5. Look good in painted portraits or even better- have a massive portrait painted of you ready to be hung on a wall. And don't worry, if you're having a bad hair day, its alright! Painters always made people look better in their portraits.

That's all easy enough, right? Good luck on all of your royally seductive adventures!

Coming Soon

A review of paintball in comparison to laser tag. I would do it now, but I'm exhausted from traveling and need time to process on the day's events of fast moving paint and scrambling through the mud.

But, I am back from the weekend and will be back to blogging tomorrow!

Song of my life right now...

I'll never know what I'm capable of

If I don't go where I'm scared to be lost

None of you like Bluetooth, huh?

Well, now you are going to have to sit through a Bluetooth lesson.

The name 'Bluetooth' originated from the name for the 10th century king, Harald I of Denmark and some of Norway, who united a kingdom of Danish tribes (and apparently had some dental issues...). So, the Bluetooth idea is that the product is similar regarding communications and uniting them into a universal standard. Pretty neat, huh?

Maybe you all aren't all that interested, but I think that's a cool, sort of hidden, marketing reference.

Back to babes, Danish style?

It's been a while since I have addressed the "babes" aspect of my blog. Well, there in fact are women in Denmark, and the other night I had my first experience in a European lesbian bar, so here we go!

For the Smith College students reading this, no, this bar was nothing like Divas (the one club in Northampton which also has drag night on Wednesdays and is very popular with some of the Smith population) Vela, the one mainly lesbian bar in Copenhagen, had some key differences from Divas...

• There were no flat brimmed caps
• No drag queens performing to Britney spears and having dollar bills thrown at them
• No bouncers peering constantly at the hands of those underaged having their black X's wiped off
• No awkward UMass hetero couples standing on boxes and grinding in long lines
• And getting a number is much harder when names and numbers are said with a Danish accent

However, as I have previously argued, there are certain universal signals between women who dig women, which is true even all the way over here in Scandanavia:

• The lesbian look. As I always try to point out to non-believers, there is a distinct look that lesbians give each other when passing in public. Kind of like a- yeah I see you, I know we play for the same team- kind of look. Although, since it was a lesbian bar, this look was of course turned into the more direct kind of look showing interest and curiosity as opposed to solely an acknowledgement.
• It pays to have short hair. I suppose its a universal lesbian green light? Having short hair and looking confident seem to be productive characteristics, not only at Smith, but also here in Copenhagen.

Well, the first experience at Vela was pretty nerve racking and overwhelming, so these were the brief observations I came away with. I will do my best to continue bringing you, my wonderful readers, insight into the world of Danish babes.

The Proud Danes

From what I can tell, the Danish people are very proud of their little awesome country. The flags come out on the table for birthdays, their pride was clear throughout the handball match, and they are eager and excited to share the traditions of their country. While, yes, everything I have heard and observed as made me agree that they have very much to be proud of- I have decided to try to pinpoint just a few key cultural aspects that lead to the huge sense of pride that the happy people of Denmark feel.

1. They are (mostly) really tall.
2. Their national flag claims to be the oldest in the world. That's pretty neat.
   
3. Denmark's Noma has been named the best restaurant in the world.
   
4. They now also have the best chef in the world: Rasmus Kofoed, he owns Geranuim in the center of Copenhagen.
5. And, on the topic of food, the pastries here are mind blowing.
6. They can speak Danish. Seriously though, it's a very, very difficult language and they should be proud.
   
7. Vikings.
   
8. Tivoli gardens (which, fun fact, inspired Walt Disney and Disneyland).
   
9. They are proud of their drinking? I'm assuming because it is legal to drink in public here. And hey, they should be!
10. Mmm Tuborg and Carlsberg. Good reasons to be proud.
11. The Little Mermaid.
12. Windmill and recycling system success among other environmental advancements.
    
13. Skype and Bluetooth, two incredibly important and influential technological advancements that no one but the Danish people seem to know were Danish inventions.
14. and Legos. Enough said.

Denmark's current top 10 hits (according to allcharts.org)

Numbers 2 and 10 should be pretty familiar to the American readers, but I had to check out others.

1. Out of it- Fallulah
This is the theme song to the Danish TV series 'Lykke' and a favorite of another Smithie studying abroad in Copenhagen right now...
2. Grenade- Bruno Mars
3. Det Burde Ikk VÆre SÅdan H - Xander
I love this sad and mildly electronic tune although I have no idea what is being said
4. Rolling in the Deep- Adele
Adele is always amazing, but I am a huge fan of this song. Good choice, Denmark.
5. Sjus- Kato featuring Ida Corr Camille J
6. Addiction- Medina
Good club song, also popular in the US.
7. NÅr Tiden GÅr BaglÆns- Clara Sofie & Rune Rk
Another good dance song
8. This is Not- Veto
The link goes to a live performance, pretty intense, very trance-y
9. Fest- Morten Breum & Nik & Jay
10. Hold it Against Me- Britney Spears
I think we have all heard this one by now... I still think it odd that Britney used so much dubstep.

So there you have it! I have to say, for being the happiest people in the world, the majority of those songs are pretty depressing. But overall, I like this country's choices.

Unprofessional Handball Final Report

UGHHHH.

The world final handball match- Denmark vs. France just ended and France won in over time. I'm going to give a totally unprofessional and knowledgeable recap of the highlights (??) of the game for those of you in the states who are dying to be filled in to my new favorite sport.

Coming to Denmark, I had absolutely no idea that handball was a professional sport or an important piece of culture to any countries. Oops. I figured it was like racket ball or squash. NOPE! ITS WAY MORE AWESOME. It seems to me that handball is a mix of basketball and soccer but with more player-to-player contact. The way the teams move up and down the space is like basketball, but the ball looks like a soccer ball and there is a goal as opposed to a net.

So, for those of you in the states who missed the big game, here are my incredibly important and highly critical observations of the second half:

1. The French goalie is very good at making his body into an X shape
2. The best part of the game is when they shoot because of how intense the players get as they leap into the air and throw the ball
3. The Danish goalie has huge hands
4. Handball players are extremely good looking. Mostly the Danish ones.
   
5. My host mother likes to play solitaire on her phone while the game is on, until it gets intense, and then she cannot sit down.
   
6. With five seconds left in the game, Denmark shoots and scores to tie it up and put them into overtime
7. One of the main French players with an annoying beard definitely had a hickey
8. The Danish goalie is incredible. And actually blocked a penalty shot. Amazing.
9. 
10. Why did they play a techno version of the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song?
11. And France ended up winning by 2. Damn it.
    

I think I've decided to drop everything and play handball for the rest of my life. Or drop everything and follow the Danish men and woman's teams around. Gooo Denmark!

Some things don't change?

When I arrived in Denmark and saw my little adorable bedroom, I thought to myself- hey, this is small and cute, I'm not going to ever have it be messy! And, in my defense, it stayed pretty clean for almost TWO weeks. I suppose this is similar to the beginning of every year of college when one walks into their new room and tells themselves that- its a new year, this year it will be clean all the time!

Never. Happens.

This is what Sunday cleansing is for. Expect lots of blogging and updates on my disaster zone room.

Back 2 Berriez!

Don't worry, fellow berry lovers! I have not forgotten about my promise to fill your blog adventures with stories and fun facts about berries (and babes- more on that after tonight?). I have been keeping my eyes open here in Denmark for berrrrrry interesting things regarding my two favorite subjects. So here we go, back in action!

One of the sweetest (don't mind my excellent word choice) things about Copenhagen are the many bakeries that you find on every street. They smell excellent. They are beautiful. They will make you only want pastries for the rest of your life.

So, I have decided that my way to keep you all up to date on berry info from abroad, will be, to eat berries while abroad! Not so different I suppose. Although, hopefully I will not have to pick any of the berries I will be eating. Just pick out the beautiful and delicious pastries I will want to try...

this was taken at a pretty big bakery on our way home from Christiania
No, unfortunately I did not try any of these
Next time, expect a full report...

Making a change

Okay so, since I've been taking my class that does a lot with blogging, I've realized that it would be in the best interest of my blogging career (lol?) if I separated Babes and Berries from my journal-like writing about my time in Denmark. So, I'm going to have two blogs. Do not worry, this will not be complicated! I just want to keep my babes and berries voice separate from keeping you all updated with my travels and adventures.

both blogs will be able to be accessed from one another by links that will say: My Other Blog. Easy enough? So you can just click between. This way, I will still update everyone on what I'm up to, and I will still have a blog that I can write continue in the way it was going. Perhaps I was inspired over my strawberry rhubarb jam this morning. Ha. Get it? berries?

So, click on the link to the left that says G in DK to take you to my new blog about me being in Denmark to check that out. The actual URL is http://g-in-dk.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Going abroad!

In only three short days I will be on a plane to Denmark! How weird is that? So far, I have one suitcase packed and a lengthy list of things to do and more things to pack. I have heard from my host family- the Schou's, and I actually had a chance to chat online with the 22 year old son, Mathias. Because the beginning of our chat was based upon him quizzing me about Denmark, I realized I needed to do some research before heading off to the brand new country. So, as I've been reading anything possible about Denmark, I have discovered one key important cultural piece to Danish culture: There are no free refills. Just kidding, I mean, that's true, but hopefully it will not be the central important piece to my travels abroad. My favorite piece of Danish history is the name of the first Viking king: Gorm The Old. Pretty intense.

Okay but in all seriousness, reading about Denmark has only made me so much more excited. They are supposed to be the happiest people in the world! Sounds good to me.