Mating For Life

Ooooh the subject of monogamy. Let's begin with a simple Merriam-Webster definition:
archaic : the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime. 2. : the state or custom of being married to one person at a time ... blahblahblah. Ha. My favorite part is that this begins with archaic. But no, no, no I'm not anti monogamy. Not at all. I think it's honorable and respectful and all of those good things. And hey, if someone's good enough in bed to keep around, do it! Okay maybe I don't want to discuss monogamy.

I have a different idea.



Let's list the animals that mate for life!!

• Gibbons. You know, the cute monkeys that are really close to humans. Well, apparently for them, they find themselves in male/female pairs (boring) that are of roughly equal size. Interestingly enough, the size matter is representative of equality among the relationships. How nice! Go monkey world!
• Swans. We've all seen the images of swans with their necks entwined forming a heart. Well, there you go. I guess swans have a problem of entwining their necks together and not being able to get them apart, hence, a life-long sexual and emotional bond! I'm so good at decoding the animal world.
  
• Black Vultures. Hmm. Well. I guess if they all look that ugly... no temptation?
  
• French angelfish. Reading about these fish kind of remind me of some human relationships that begin in high school. Apparently, these fish are never really found alone and they can basically just stay together as long as they are alive. The pairs will even act as a team to attack other pairs away from their territory. Yikes. Whoever started the saying, "there are other fish in the sea" probably got attacked by a pair of French angelfish soon after.
  
• Wolves. I didn't know this! Wolves actually act similarly to a nuclear family. Okay Study of Women and Gender majors, let's go. Why does the wolf often portray the trickster character in folklore, but in reality, is bound to a nuclear model of family, clearly more responsible and loyal than portrayed throughout story telling?
• Albatross. Oh good. I didn't know these actually existed. Wasn't this the huuuge bird in The Rescuers Down Under? Oh, no that was a great golden eagle. The albatross was the quirky bird who flew them to Australia. Anyway! This one is both fun and romantic. Albatrosses fly all over the place, but always return to their original location and mate. Aw. How do they keep the spark over their long distance relationship? Goofy and affectionate ritual dances! I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.
• Termites. Great. King, queen, you get the drift.
  
• Prairie voles. Aww. Did you know that most rodents have a reputation for promiscuity? Well, these little guys don't. They support each other, groom one another, and share nesting and pup-raising responsibilities. Apparently, these voles are more successful than a whooole lot of human relationships.
  
• Turtle Doves. Well now the Twelve Days of Christmas song makes a little more sense.
  
• Ummm. Then there's a weird kind of worm, but worms freak me out so I'm skipping this one.
  
• Bald Eagles. The foundation of America. Cue the National Anthem, please. As for lasting relationships, bald eagles own Americans. Way to go, Eagles!
  

And there you go. Lessons of monogamy and relationships from the animal world.