Procrastination

I don't know what it is about today/tonight but I absolutely cannot focus on anything academic. Other than finishing my reading in Philip Roth's Goodbye, Columbus, nothing else really seems to be getting done. Good book though.

Here is a list of things that seem more important to me right now than studying for my LGBT midterm on Tuesday:

1. My messy room. Not cleaning it, but instead trying my best not to look around it. From where I am perched on my bed, I can see... a lime, at least 7 glasses containing liquids from last night, a cowboy hat, a huge open container of cranberry juice, a completely EMPTY handle of Svedka, an almost finished bottle of Fresca, cards splayed across the floor, a studded belt, so yeah- sums up my life, sums up why I'm terrified to begin the cleaning process.
   
2. Chelsea Handler. All I want to do is keep reading Are You There Vodka? Not that Roth's protagonist, Neil, and his struggles with love, class, and winning ping-pong games against seven year old girls in the suburbs of New Jersey isn't riveting, but frankly I'd rather be reading about Handler's alcohol problem.
3. My radio show! Tonight's topic is health at Smith college which I'm sure will be filled with lots of jokes and an absolutely phenomenal assortment of tunes. Just kidding about that last part. Pretty sure a Ne-yo and Celine Dion combination wouldn't necessarily thrill the WOZQ heads. Ah well.
4. Being weak and tired from last night. Enough said.

So, as you can see, studying is just not a priority right now. Alas, WWII gays and lesbos, you're struggles and community growth will have to wait until later.

PEACE OUT.

TV show recommendation

Cats 101 is a fantastic show on Animal Planet. Basically, it's an hour of cats, facts about cats, and weird people who are crazy about cats. What could be better? It airs every Saturday evening at 8, and sometimes 7 also? If you're lucky.

Suggested Cats 101 drinking game:

• Every time the word "pet" is said
  
• Every time a bad cat joke is made
• Whenever you hear a meow
• Every time there is a close-up on a cat's face
  
• If you want to get really drunk, every time you say "AW!"

You're welcome.

AND I'M BACK!

Hello and welcome back to your favorite blog about babes and berries everyone!

While it may be a little more difficult for me to find source material to write about berries now that I'm back at Smith, I'm sure I will find plenty of stuff to write about. I apologize it took so long to get back in the swing of blogging- the beginning of the year has been crazy BUT now it's a .... kind of dreary Thursday afternoon AND I just finished a mad rush of papers being due, and I'm in a fantastic mood and ready to kick off a bound to be AW--- WAIT FOR IT--- SOME weekend. That doesn't work as well as Barney Stinson, huh? Oh well. You get the idea.

So! It's a new year, and everyone is surrounded by new people- maybe you're a first year just coming into Smith or wherever, or maybe you're an upper-classperson (like the PC-ness there?) checking out all the new hotties on campus or in your classes. Either way, new crushes are BOUND to happen. So, let's talk about one of my favorite pieces of advice:

IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE, LET THEM KNOW.

Now, I'm going to elaborate. First off, you know when one of your friends comes up to you and is all, "Oh my god, So-and-so is totally into you! She/he thinks you're so hot!" Maybe you've known the person forever, maybe you have to check them out on facebook, but either way: THEY WILL BE ON YOUR RADAR. Everyone likes compliments. Everyone likes to be liked. If you hear that someone is into you, all of a sudden you're going to pay them a little attention, even if it's just for a second in your mind. Maybe the next time you see them around, you'll find yourself giving them a little up and down look or making eyes, all because you know they're into you.

So, there are multiple ways to get into this position in the offensive. Yes, having a mutual friend drop a hint that you're into the person is always easy, and actually not a bad idea, as long as it isn't done too obviously, of course. However, if you're feeling a little bold, it's also a good idea to let them know on your own. It's more personal and way more pro-active to start flirting (subtly) and, at first, making them wonder if maybe you are into them. Here are some suggestions...

First: DON'T BE CREEPY. There is no need to be ALL over them ALL the time. No, no, no. Subtly is way more effective and way sexier. Trust me. I know that some booze in your system may make your confidence go up, but don't be sloppy either. We've all made that mistake and over-flirted and felt like a loser in the morning. I'll take a minute here to apologize for all the times that has happened in my life... aaand, moving on!

My next tip: EYES. You know that look that you get from someone across the room that catches your eyes for a second and makes you wonder. Don't just blatantly stare until they look back, but if you can catch their eyes repeatedly, that's good. Give a little smirk. Hold their eyes for just a second each time casually, then look away. Be busy. Look occupied, but like you're making it worth your time to catch their eyes and let them know you're giving them some attention. This is great for party settings or even across a dining hall.

Casual touching: Maybe you're already friendly but you want to be more. Once again, subtly=awesome. Let them think that maybe you want to be a little more than friendly with them: touch their arm when you talk, linger your hand on their wrist as you say goodbye, lean into them if appropriate. There are plenty of ways to throw in some casual touching, and you should be able to tell right away if it is taken positively or negatively. If they smile up at you or touch back- THAT'S GOOD. If they pull away awkwardly...maybe this was too far. Back it up and take some time to reevaluate.

If you're at this place in your friendship already: invite them over! Be bold! Invite them to a party and make them feel welcome, show them a good time but don't spend all of your time with them. Compliment what they're wearing. Flirt. Be a little physical, especially if alcohol is available as a social lubricant.

If you do these thing and think they might be into you, well then, hopefully you have some game and can reel in the catch.

Now, quick disclaimer. If you are into someone WHO IS TAKEN: DO. NOT. PUSH. IT. I'm all for letting your feelings be known because, hey, maybe they aren't actually happy and you could be awesome and something may work out...BUT, IF YOU TRY MORE THAN ONCE AND IT IS NOT RECIPROCATED, IT'S TIME TO CALL IT QUITS. Don't you think? Move onto someone else awesome! There are plenty of girls, boys, or whatever you're into out there to focus your attention on.

So, with these helpful hints, GO FORTH! Enjoy the weekend! Let your crush have an idea you're into them and maybe the weekend will be better than you expected!

Life as Art...

In a novel I have been reading in the days before heading to SC, I came across a quote about our generation and the internet in response to someone older accusing us of lacking artistic merit and culture:

"Don't be so down on our generation. We put our hookups on the Internet so other people can watch. Life as art is very hot."

Thought this was interesting, and accurate. And yes, for those of you who may have recognized it and started laughing at me, it is from a Gossip Girl book. What can I say.

Something Eerie

I've never sat through an episode of Oprah in my life, and yet, when I just saw that the season beginning in September would be her "farewell season," I got chills and a streak of fear. What's with this?

I'm hoping you all will take a moment to analyze this because I'm basically preparing a thesis on it.

Why do I think you're so hot??

Just starting watching season 3 of True Blood, and once again my fierce man crush on Eric is firing up. He's just so sexy! Don't worry though, if Evan Rachel Wood was featured more as the vampire queen I'm sure my interest would be otherwise. But for now, helloooo Eric.

Mating For Life

Ooooh the subject of monogamy. Let's begin with a simple Merriam-Webster definition:
archaic : the practice of marrying only once during a lifetime. 2. : the state or custom of being married to one person at a time ... blahblahblah. Ha. My favorite part is that this begins with archaic. But no, no, no I'm not anti monogamy. Not at all. I think it's honorable and respectful and all of those good things. And hey, if someone's good enough in bed to keep around, do it! Okay maybe I don't want to discuss monogamy.

I have a different idea.



Let's list the animals that mate for life!!

• Gibbons. You know, the cute monkeys that are really close to humans. Well, apparently for them, they find themselves in male/female pairs (boring) that are of roughly equal size. Interestingly enough, the size matter is representative of equality among the relationships. How nice! Go monkey world!
• Swans. We've all seen the images of swans with their necks entwined forming a heart. Well, there you go. I guess swans have a problem of entwining their necks together and not being able to get them apart, hence, a life-long sexual and emotional bond! I'm so good at decoding the animal world.
  
• Black Vultures. Hmm. Well. I guess if they all look that ugly... no temptation?
  
• French angelfish. Reading about these fish kind of remind me of some human relationships that begin in high school. Apparently, these fish are never really found alone and they can basically just stay together as long as they are alive. The pairs will even act as a team to attack other pairs away from their territory. Yikes. Whoever started the saying, "there are other fish in the sea" probably got attacked by a pair of French angelfish soon after.
  
• Wolves. I didn't know this! Wolves actually act similarly to a nuclear family. Okay Study of Women and Gender majors, let's go. Why does the wolf often portray the trickster character in folklore, but in reality, is bound to a nuclear model of family, clearly more responsible and loyal than portrayed throughout story telling?
• Albatross. Oh good. I didn't know these actually existed. Wasn't this the huuuge bird in The Rescuers Down Under? Oh, no that was a great golden eagle. The albatross was the quirky bird who flew them to Australia. Anyway! This one is both fun and romantic. Albatrosses fly all over the place, but always return to their original location and mate. Aw. How do they keep the spark over their long distance relationship? Goofy and affectionate ritual dances! I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.
• Termites. Great. King, queen, you get the drift.
  
• Prairie voles. Aww. Did you know that most rodents have a reputation for promiscuity? Well, these little guys don't. They support each other, groom one another, and share nesting and pup-raising responsibilities. Apparently, these voles are more successful than a whooole lot of human relationships.
  
• Turtle Doves. Well now the Twelve Days of Christmas song makes a little more sense.
  
• Ummm. Then there's a weird kind of worm, but worms freak me out so I'm skipping this one.
  
• Bald Eagles. The foundation of America. Cue the National Anthem, please. As for lasting relationships, bald eagles own Americans. Way to go, Eagles!
  

And there you go. Lessons of monogamy and relationships from the animal world.